Beating Banality

I was speaking with friends of mine about the fact that I have not successfully achieved subspace. Granted, it's not that I actively try...that seems counterproductive. I'm not sure that I believe in subspace, actually, since I only really have faith in something I can feel or have experienced personally.

My friend even said that she has seen me receive quite a severe beating and was surprised that I didn't reach it. The reaction of others was that they could get me there fairly easily, if given the chance.

I don't know about that, frankly. I stay very aware while in a session, and I'm not sure I could break out of that. I suspect that it will take an inordinate amount of pain to chip through my reality.

Generally, my thoughts range across a myriad of subjects and emotions, and go something like this...

'Gah, why didn't I wear the sexy undies instead of the everyday variety?? I knew this was a possibility!'

'Hmmm. My deodorant smells nice.'

'I wonder what this looks like from behind.'

'Oh, what's the name of this song???'

'Ouch, that stung.'

'Maybe you should pull my hair now.'

'Fuck. I need to get laid, this all-whipping thing is making me frenzied.'

'I wonder if he is hard...'

'This towel feels nice and rough on my nipples.'

'Oh, this is good, much more severe now.'

'I won't be able to reschedule that massage until the bruises fade.'

'Damn it, those people are too loud.'

'Sigh. Over already????'

Now you see the problem?