Even then

Take my dreams and take my mind
That were masterless as wind;
And "Master!" I shall say to you
Since you never asked me to.

From 'Because' by Sarah Teasdale

I've been feeling myself into a corner. I tried to turn it off, made myself weak-kneed with passion over the thought of hands and eyes. It wasn't enough, I couldn't disengage.

I can't continue to just feel, it's disarming. What am I without my walls?

They are back. In force. With their friends and extended family. It will take an army now.